Attention Ladies!

I am not big on forwarded email. I read some and keep only the best. Unfortunately, a lot of harddisk crashes and formatting wiped out all the best email I've collected since my introduction to the internet and email. I have below one of those emails that provided me a template for helping friends suffering from a common female hearthache - falling for somebody who is already attached.

Read on friends.

He doesn't love you enough...


During what women believe to be the start of a budding romance, certainty about where the relationship is going is never questioned. To us, it's in the bag without necessarily saying this out loud.He calls,he tells me he misses me, asks me out often, is relentlessly sweet and thoughtful. I am always on cloud nine and apologetically unable to wipe the grin off my face.I am in love with him and although he hasn't said so yet, I am sure he loves me too.

Herein lies the tragedy. Until a man asks you to be his girlfriend,you are not on safe ground. No matter how few the minutes are between his text messages or his phone calls,even if he has tried to hold your hand, carefully pick off the eyelash from under your eye,and wipe the crumb perched on your upper lip, assume that he just wants to be friends. Assume otherwise and you'll be in for great big heartbreak. Men are almost formulaic especially those who have remained single after 25. When faced with the same given in the same situation, no matter where they come from, they will all do the same thing.

Enter the questions women love to ask:

1. Why hasn't he called me in the past few days;
2. If he likes being me with so much, why doesn't he leave his girlfriend/wife for me?

As much as we would like to fall back into thinking men are idiots and need a little shove off into the right direction, it's better to keep your hands where they are. Do not text, call or make a bigger fool of yourself. There s just one answer to all the questions: He doesn't love you enough. Let's take each situation one at a time. He hasn't called you in the past few days. Women will immediately assume that there s something wrong. His cellphone is off, he is sick, he got into an accident, he's upset with me, etc. We say to ourselves, It's okay for me to text him, at least he'll think that I care about him and that I'm thoughtful. Plus once lang naman to eh. After this I'll never initiate texting. More brazen women could come right out at the guy and ask, Why haven't you called me? Whenever my women friends tell me they did this, I visibly cringe and have to stop myself from hitting them on the head. You see, a man's initial feelings for a woman are not usually carved in stone. How he feels about you is very much like writing on the sand. You have to be careful so that he won't change his mind about you. My guy friends who confide in me (voluntarily) have the same facial statement when they tell me about the girl who asked them the question,Why haven't you called me? They look like they have the heebie-jeebies. They freak out and start complaining about this. They haven't called you because they don t feel like it. They might feel like it later but at the moment they don't so they won't. They are aware that you exist and don't need you to remind them about it. Do you want that? I don't think so. They also tell me that men are entitled to change their mind the way women do. They are also flaky and not sure all the time.

Sometimes men are looking for icing on the cake in the form of a woman friend who plugs in all the gaps that his better half cannot fill. She is usually somebody with slightly different qualities than his mate. He enjoys being with her, calls her all the time, consults with her about life-altering decisions but does not really come out and make a decision about who he wants to be with simply because he is in a safe place. He has the best of both worlds and doesn't need to make a choice. If he hasn't left his girlfriend for you yet, chances are, he won't. She is still his priority. When she calls and asks him to pick her up,he hurriedly finishes his meal and tells you he has to go. When you ask him out on days when he has to take her home, he'll say he can't. You notice that you are only together when his schedule permits it and when seeing you does not conflict with his time with his girlfriend. You get the crumbs. This kind of arrangement only tells you that he doesn't love you enough for him to forsake his girlfriend for you. If he takes a chance by leaving her for you, you're sure that he loves you. Most men would stay with the safe, the tried and tested over risking everything.

Obviously, you don't want to be second best. Find someone who will make you his only priority. Although they pretend and seem otherwise, men are not idiots when it comes to matters of the heart.They know fully well what they want out of the relationship. They do not need to be rescued by you. They don't need hints, carefully crafted text messages or highway billboards that promise them a bed of roses with you. If he really likes you, he will do anything to get you to like him back. You just have to sit there and wait for your nails to dry. Trust me. I can get enough signatures from the creeps to validate this.